30 Jun Perinatal Grief: Coping with Pregnancy Loss, Miscarriage, and Infertility
Perinatal grief can change everything. When you’re coping with pregnancy loss, miscarriage, stillbirth, or infertility, you may feel like life has been divided into “before” and “after.” You might swing between numbness and overwhelming emotion, feel distant from people you love, or wonder if you will ever feel like yourself again.
At Monarch Psychology in Calgary, we meet many people who carry this kind of quiet, often invisible grief. We understand that perinatal grief and loss is not “just” a medical event or a failed treatment cycle—it touches your identity, relationships, body, and hopes for the future. Our goal in perinatal counselling is to offer a safe, steady place to process what has happened and gently rebuild around your loss.
Understanding Perinatal Grief and Loss
The term perinatal grief refers to the deep emotional pain that can follow miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, termination for medical reasons, stillbirth, neonatal loss, and ongoing infertility. Perinatal mental health includes your emotional wellbeing during pregnancy, after birth, and when pregnancy does not go as hoped.
Perinatal grief can show up in many ways, including:
- Intense sadness, guilt, anger, or jealousy
- Feeling of emptiness or disbelief
- Intrusive images, difficulty sleeping, or physical tension
- Pulling away from friends, family, or social media pregnancy announcements
- Arguments or distance in your relationship, especially around sex or trying again
- Feeling that others “don’t get it” or minimize your loss
All of these reactions are understandable responses to something deeply painful. Grief is not linear, and there is no “right” timeline.
Infertility, Loss, and Your Mental Health
Infertility and repeated pregnancy loss can place enormous pressure on your mental health. Because of this, many of our clients describe living cycle-to-cycle, feeling like everything is on hold, or carrying constant fear of more disappointment.
Research suggests that infertility is often linked with significant anxiety, depression, and general distress, and that targeted psychological care can meaningfully improve certain aspects of wellbeing.1 For many people, this means that infertility and mental health are deeply connected. Accessing perinatal loss therapy or miscarriage grief therapy may help you feel less alone and more able to cope with the uncertainty and emotional roller coaster of trying to conceive.
Pregnancy Loss Counselling in Calgary: How Therapy May Help
Our team at Monarch offers perinatal counselling, including pregnancy loss counselling in Calgary and online across Alberta. We draw on evidence-informed approaches such as CBT, EMDR, mindfulness-based strategies, and other modalities to support you and, when helpful, your partner.
For those grieving fetal loss (including miscarriage and stillbirth), mindfulness-based interventions have been associated with improvements in depression, anxiety, stress, and post-traumatic growth—that sense of finding new meaning or strength after trauma.3 Shorter mindfulness-based programs (four weeks or less) appeared to have particularly strong effects on anxiety for women without prior anxiety symptoms.3 These findings fit with what many of our clients report: gentle mindfulness, grounding, and self-compassion practices may offer small but important moments of relief, especially when paired with caring support.
In miscarriage grief therapy and perinatal loss therapy at our clinic, we may explore:
- Making space for your grief without judgment or pressure to “move on”
- Processing the story of what happened, at your own pace
- Soothing intense emotions, flashbacks, or anxiety in your body
- Supporting your relationship as a couple, including differing ways of grieving
- Exploring decisions about trying again, fertility treatment, or other paths to parenthood
- Honouring your baby or hoped-for baby in ways that feel meaningful to you
Our registered psychologists and social workers aim to create a non-judgmental, inclusive space where every kind of family and every kind of grief is welcome.
What Perinatal Counselling with Monarch Can Look Like
We tailor perinatal counselling to your needs. Some people come to us right after an emergency room visit or heartbreaking appointment. Others reach out months or years later when grief resurfaces or when they hit another milestone, such as a new pregnancy or a decision to stop treatment.
Depending on what you’re going through, sessions may include:
- Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): Supporting you to gently notice and shift thoughts that increase shame or hopelessness, while honouring the reality of your loss.1,2
- Trauma-informed work: Helping you safely access, name, and express emotions that may feel too big to carry alone.
- Mindfulness and grounding: Using breath, body, and awareness practices that have been associated with reduced depression, anxiety, and stress after fetal loss.3
- Couples counselling: Navigating differences in grieving styles, intimacy, communication about fertility decisions, and boundaries with family.
- Support around medical decisions: Processing options like IVF, IUI, donor conception, surrogacy, or choosing to step away from treatment.
Our goal is not to push you toward any particular decision, but to help you feel more grounded, informed, and emotionally supported as you move forward.
Finding Support After Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Infertility
Perinatal grief often feels isolating because it is so rarely talked about openly. In our work with clients seeking pregnancy loss counselling in Calgary, we often hear worries like “I should be over this by now.” Your grief matters, no matter when or how your loss happened, or what other people believe.
Reaching out for support after pregnancy loss doesn’t mean your grief is “too much.” It simply means you don’t want to carry it alone. Working with a registered psychologist for pregnancy loss in Calgary may help you:
- Understand and normalize what you are feeling
- Learn tools to manage waves of emotion, intrusive thoughts, or panic
- Rebuild trust in your body and in relationships
- Reconnect with parts of life that feel meaningful, even as you continue to grieve
Our clinic offers in-person appointments in Calgary as well as secure online sessions across Alberta, making it possible to access perinatal counselling even if you are juggling medical appointments, childcare, or work demands.
FAQ: Perinatal Grief, Miscarriage, and Infertility Support in Calgary
How do I know if I should see someone for miscarriage grief?
Many people seek miscarriage grief therapy when their emotions feel overwhelming, stuck, or invisible to others. If you’re having trouble functioning day to day, feeling detached from people you care about, or noticing that grief is affecting your sleep, appetite, work, or relationships, perinatal loss therapy may be helpful. You don’t have to reach a crisis point before reaching out—some people come simply because they want a safe, understanding place to talk.
Is it “too late” to get help if my loss was months or years ago?
It’s never too late. Perinatal grief can resurface around due dates, anniversaries, new pregnancies, or other life stressors. Many of our clients in pregnancy loss counselling come to us long after the initial loss, when they finally have space or support to process what happened.
Can counselling help with both infertility and grief from previous losses?
Yes. Infertility, repeated negative tests, and past miscarriages often weave together. Psychological interventions for infertility have been associated with decreases in anxiety and depression and improvements in wellbeing and quality of life.1,2 In sessions, we can hold space for your current treatment journey while also tending to earlier losses and the impact they continue to have.
What if my partner and I are coping very differently?
This is extremely common. One partner may want to talk constantly while the other shuts down, or one may be ready to try again sooner. Couples counselling can offer a neutral space to understand each other’s coping styles, express grief, and find ways to support each other, even if you are grieving in different ways.
Do I have to choose between individual and couples therapy?
Not necessarily. Some clients see us individually while also attending some joint sessions with their partner. We can collaborate with you to decide what combination feels most supportive over time.
Is online perinatal counselling as helpful as in-person?
Many clients find online care just as meaningful and sometimes more accessible. For people navigating infertility or pregnancy loss, online sessions can reduce travel time and make it easier to attend appointments after medical procedures or on difficult days. Research on psychological support for infertility has included both in-person and online formats, and online delivery has been noted as a meaningful way to offer care.1
What if I am not sure I want to be pregnant again?
After infertility or pregnancy loss, it is very common to feel unsure about next steps. In therapy, we can explore your fears, hopes, values, and options without pressure toward any particular outcome. Our role is to support your clarity, not to tell you what to do.
Moving Forward at Your Own Pace
Perinatal grief, whether from miscarriage, stillbirth, or infertility, is not something you “get over.” It is something you learn to live with, in a way that eventually may feel softer and more integrated into your life. With compassionate support, many people begin to experience more moments of calm, connection, and meaning alongside their sadness.1-3
If you are looking for perinatal counselling, miscarriage grief therapy, or infertility and mental health support in Calgary or online across Alberta, our team at Monarch Psychology is here to walk alongside you at your own pace.
Find Meaningful Support at Monarch Psychology
Book an appointment with one of our experienced mental health professionals to explore gentle, evidence-informed support for perinatal grief and loss.
References
- Jackson PL, et al. The efficacy of psychological interventions for infertile women: a systematic review and meta-analysis. BMC Womens Health. 2025. doi:10.1186/s12905-025-04054-x
- Yıldız Karaahmet A, et al. The effects of cognitive interventions on quality of life in infertile women: a meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials. J Psychosom Obstet Gynaecol. 2025. doi:10.1080/0167482X.2025.2560828
- Wang X, et al. Effects of mindfulness-based interventions on mental health among women with fetal loss: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Midwifery. 2025. doi:10.1016/j.midw.2025.104520
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