Book Review: “It’s Ok That You’re Not Ok”

Book Review: “It’s Ok That You’re Not Ok”

by Devany Benis, R Psych

This is a beautiful book about grief that acknowledges the shortcomings of Western culture’s current understanding of grief and the idea that grief is something to be “fixed,” “solved,” or “overcome.” Megan takes a different approach to grief and discusses the difference between solving pain and tending to pain, the idea that there is no return to a normal life before loss, and how to learn to live alongside your grief. 

What I loved about this book is it gives people who are grieving permission to feel whatever it is they are feeling when faced with significant loss and acknowledges there is no time line for grief. I also like that Megan has a dual understanding of grief. She shares her experiences as a psychotherapist and working with grieving people, as well as, her own personal story of loss. 

This book is not only a great read for someone who has experienced loss, but also someone who knows a grieving person and is feeling at a loss for how to support. It can be really difficult to know how to support someone who is grieving. Megan talks about the importance of not trying to cheer someone up, but holding space for their pain. Not only does she discuss her theory of grief and how to support grieving people, but she also provides practical suggestions. You can find a helpful essay on how to help a grieving friend by Megan Devine here.

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Devany Benis